Monday, August 30, 2010

How many times have I told you?

It has to be said: I am a fairly paranoid parent. Somewhat overprotective.

Today was a busy day. I didn't get a shower until 5 p.m. I put Bella and Josie in front of the tv watching Word World to give myself time for a quick shower. I was not in there more than 3 minutes when Belle came running in saying "Someone is at the door."

Josie has discovered she can open doors...so I had locked and dead bolted the door. The handle lock seems to stop her but I figured I couldn't be too cautious. I would be safe for 5 minutes in the shower.

You know how your heart drops a little and you think things like..."well crap, I left the window open so the person at the door knows we are home because the tv is on." I told Bella that I was in the shower and couldn't come out to answer the door and that she was NOT to open it.

I quickly rinsed the shampoo out of my hair and got out of Dodge. I figured Bella would be standing at the window by the door motioning that she couldn't answer it...so the person would be sort of standing there waiting to see if anyone was home with 2 little kids. As I was getting dressed, in record time, Bella runs in and hands me a flyer. "He was an internet guy, mom." HOLY COW she opened the door. I was stunned. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD HER NOT TO ANSWER THE DOOR WITHOUT AN ADULT AROUND? And how the heck did she get the dead bolt open?

I tried to be calm and told her I had asked her NOT to answer the door. My sweet, innocent, little girl said, "He was a good guy mom...it's ok." I am trying to imagine the conversation that had gone on between the two of them. There are so many what if's to this situation I cringe.

Once the door is open Josie usually runs as fast as she can away from the house. I'm so glad she didn't get out. Or that he caught her and put her back in. I'm glad he was one of the "good guys" and that he wasn't standing there when Bella handed me the flyer.

Needless to say Bella got a lecture and we are getting a chain lock for the door...up high. Or those plastic dealie's to put on the door handle. Or a guard to stand watch...or something.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

You won't believe this...I'm not making it up.



We went to Idaho to visit some friends a week or so ago. It was beautiful and who knew there was so much to do in Idaho? Coeur D'alene...neat place. Lots of biking, water sports, trails. Really cool.



We were on our way to the Hiawatha trail...cool, awesome, fun!! ..driving through town...and what do my eyes behold? A sign!!! One of those little A-frame signs outside a hardware store. I did a double take. It said...and I'm not lying..."Anti Monkey Butt powder". I asked Steve if he saw it and he said no. I thought my eyes might have deceived me. I mean...sheesh!



Steve and I laughed a bit and had quite a conversation. We decided since it was a biking, athletic type town that possibly his brother Doug (who is a very biking, athletic...in a "I'm going to ride off a cliff or ride a zillion miles race-type fella) would have an inkling if this was something in the biking world. So...I texted him. A little while later we received a text back along the lines that he never heard of it and it sounded like some sort of alternate universe thing...run away fast.



So...of course we drove back. I think Steve wanted to make sure I hadn't been dipping into...well whatever you dip into to make you say, "hey, did you see that sign that said it had Anti-Monkey Butt Powder on sale?" It was real. I was redeemed and took pictures!! I mean the odds of seeing that again are SLIM. Steve even went in and bought a bottle. :-) There were two kinds...regular and lady's. He bought the lady's...I am not actually sure if there was a reason behind that. Hmm.



Straight from the bottle...these are not my words: "Say Good-bye to Chafed Thighs. Lady Anti Monkey Butt Powder is specially formulated with patented satiny smooth powder to minimize the frictional discomfort that women often experience when using exercise equipment, running, driving, cycling or just walking. Its unique ingredients work quickly to absorb sweat and provide cooling effective relief of irritation on the inner thighs and other areas of the skin prone to rubbing." Then on to say: Indoors or outdoors, work or play, or on occasions when you're on your butt all day, don't let your buns get red. Instead use Lady Anti Monkey Butt Powder for all day protection."



I'm almost speechless. Steve asked the cashier about it and was told it was one of his best sellers...duh! I mean the white elephant quality of this item is priceless. But no...the cashier said a lot of people use it for motorcycle rides, running, and biking. They swear by it!!



So...there is an alternate universe. It's called Sherman's Hardware store in Coeur D'alene Idaho.



Side note: It smells like baby powder and I did not notice it seemed and different than regular powder. But than...I can't say I've ever thought..."sheesh I wish I had something for this feeling of monkey butt that I have. You'd think someone would make something for that." I did, however, get a vision from years ago. We were at Six Flags in St. Louis. We had just been on the ride that splashes down and you get soaked. Steve and I were noticing as we walked farther and farther away from the ride that our children (Chels, Jaz, and Kenzi) were walking mighty funny. You know how kids look when they are wet or have had an accident...like they are trying to keep their thighs from rubbing and chafing? Not that they are thinking those words. BUT...I'm thinking amusement/water parks could make a killing selling Anti-Monkey Butt powder.



The pictures will be posted as soon as Kenzi finds the cord to transfer her pics to the computer! :-)